It is easy to grasp the essence of the verses in front of us. Some friends are faithful until the end, and some are not; some friends will jump ship and abandon you while others will remain faithfully by your side through thick and thin. Look at the passage with me…

2 TIMOTHY 1:15 – 18

15You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. 16May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, 17but when he arrived in Rome, he searched for me earnestly and found me – 18may the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that Day! – and you well know all the service he rendered at Ephesus.

#1: PAUL KNEW THE PAIN OF ABANDONMENT (V. 15)

A cursory reading of the apostle Paul’s letters reveals that he was a man who loved God, loved people, and loved the church as well as any sinful and broken man could.2 And yet, he never pulled away from people with a cynical or bitter heart; Paul will be faithful until the end despite his own shortcomings and sinful tendencies (1 Tim. 1:12 – 17; Rom. 7).

Nevertheless, despite Paul’s heart for God, for people, and for the church, he knew the pain of abandonment. He reminds Timothy of that pain when he says, “You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes”. I can hear the depression and loneliness in Paul’s words when he exaggerates the situation by saying that everyone had abandoned him.

I do not know the specific details of this situation, but I do know that Paul felt the pain of this abandonment deeply enough to specifically name a few of the people who had hurt him so deeply. And I also believe that he is definitely making the point that to be like those men, who had abandoned him, is to not be someone who is faithful until the end. You and I would not be someone with a legacy of not being ashamed of the gospel and guarding the gospel through thick and thin if we were like those men.

#2: PAUL KNEW THE REFRESHMENT OF A FAITHFUL FRIEND (VV. 16 – 18)

I thank God that as the Apostle Paul sat in that dark, lonely, hole-in-the-ground for a jail cell, that he was able to remember the refreshment that comes from having a faithful friend like Onesiphorus. He says, “May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, but when he arrived in Rome, he searched for me earnestly and found me – may the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that Day! Onesiphorus was a friend until the end!

There is some debate on whether or not Onesiphorus was still alive at the time of this letter; some people believe that he died shortly after his visit to the Apostle Paul – a fact, that if true, brings the faithfulness of Onesiphorus into sharper view – if Onesiphorus died after his visit to Paul, then he risked his life and ultimately gave his life to find and refresh his friend.3

What we do know is that Onesiphorus refreshed the Apostle Paul, he was not ashamed of Paul’s chains (presumably those who had abandoned Paul had used his chains as an excuse to betray him), he risked his life in the dangerous city of Rome during great persecution to search for and to find his friend, and he had also been a faithful servant during Paul’s ministry in the city of Ephesus.

Because of this, the Apostle Paul asks the Lord to grant mercy to Onesiphorus’ family and he also expresses his hope that Onesiphorus will experience the full weight of God’s mercy on the day of judgement when others who had abandoned him will presumably experience the full weight of God’s wrath and justice. Some people will not be faithful friends until the end but some people, like Onesiphorus, will faithfully bring refreshment to your soul in the darkest of hours.

#3: PAUL WANTS TIMOTHY TO BE A FAITHFUL FRIEND (V. 18)

When the Apostle Paul tells Timothy, “You well know all the service he [Onesiphorus] rendered at Ephesus” I think he is reminding Timothy of his own experience with Onesiphorus, and he is implying that he wants Timothy to be just like him. The apostle Paul has already encouraged Timothy with the reminder of the legacy he is leaving (2 Tim. 1:1 – 7) and he has also challenged Timothy to not be ashamed of the gospel and to guard the gospel by the power of the Spirit within him (2 Tim. 1:8 – 14).

All the Apostle Paul is doing here is giving young Timothy a flesh and blood example of who he should not imitate and who he should imitate. Ultimately, Paul wants Timothy to be a faithful friend until the end just like Onesiphorus was.

CONCLUSION…

We have observed the Apostle Paul’s experience of the pain of abandonment as well as his experience of the refreshment that a faithful friend brings to our lives and we have also observed his desire for Timothy to be a faithful friend until the end, just like Onesiphorus.

Even as I say these words, I am fully aware of the pressure of this moment, personally, for all of us. We have all experienced the pain of abandonment, whether from a friend, a relative, a spouse, or a child.

For me, I know that there are some who would listen to this message with a pen and paper in hand, waiting for me to drop a personal story of the pain I have experienced when facing betrayal, abandonment, and loss, so they can pounce on me and add one more thing to their list of accusations against me to justify their abandonment or betrayal.

I admit that after ten years of preaching in this pulpit, the faces of those once-upon-a-time friends, people that I spent hour after hour with (sometimes into the late hours of the night) doing my best (as a broken sinner) to be a friend and a shepherd, weighs heavy on me. Some people would say: “Hey, that’s the job” while others would say “Hey, suffer well, for you have yet to be crucified”. Both would be right. And I am reminded that Jesus felt exponentially more pain than I have as he breathed his final breathe on the cross, bloody, beaten, and completely alone.

I am sure we all know what it is like to be completely alone, even in a crowd of people. I am certain that like me, you know what it is like to have had a fair-weather friend who abandoned you the moment things got tough or bailed on you the moment that some sin in your life became too much for them to work through with you.

I also hope that you have at least experienced one friend on this earth that will model the true character of Christ who will never leave you or forsake you, who sticks and stays through adversity, who is unafraid to be associated with you, and who will stand with you and for you even as you wrestle with the process of putting sin to death in your life.

I pray that all of us would be this kind of friend to others, even if they do abandon or betray us. I pray that we, like Jesus, would be able to say, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” and then continue to be available to them as a faithful friend until the end.

Once again, some friends are faithful until the end, and some are not; some friends will jump ship and abandon you, while others will remain faithfully by your side through thick and thin.

One thing I do know, Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. He is always available to you; he is not ashamed to be in a relationship with you, no matter how many times you have betrayed him or abandoned him. He is always waiting for you to come to him with your sin and your brokenness so that he can extend forgiveness and healing and refreshment to you that far surpasses the refreshment that any earthly friend can bring. Jesus is a faithful friend until the end. – Amen!

1 Unless otherwise specified, all Bible references in this paper are to the English Standard Version Bible, The New Classic Reference Edition (ESV) (Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, 2001).

2 R. Kent Hughes and Bryan Chapell, 1 – 2 Timothy and Titus, (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2012), 200.

3 Ibid., 203.