I have always admired the Apostle Paul. The more I study the Bible – specifically the parts that record portions of Paul’s life and ministry or his letters to the churches he planted – I am consistently taken back by the unwavering determination he possessed for the calling of God on his life as a minister of the gospel. Paul literally possessed a deathwish; he literally desired to die for the One who had died for him.

There seems to be absolutely nothing in this world that would make the apostle Paul deviate from his deeply held conviction that “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). This man truly possessed a death wish.

Regarding the passage in front of us today, one scholar says that “Paul’s mind was made up. He was determined that he must go to Jerusalem [a place that all but promised his imprisonment and certain death]. For the apostle, suffering was the Jesus way. It was not something to avoid at all costs. It was to be embraced, seriously and joyfully, as expressive of God’s use of us to accomplish his purposes, which, even if we cannot fathom them, are more glorious than anything we could ever imagine.”2

A deathwish is something that every believer should possess; we should want to die for the One who died for us. In Acts 19:21, months before the passage we are studying today, Luke tells us that “Paul resolved in the Spirit to pass through Macedonia and Achia and go to Jerusalem, saying, ‘After I have been there, I must also see Rome.’”

Last week in Acts 20:22 – 24, Paul said, “I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me. But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Paul’s deathwish was wrapped up in his deeply held conviction that God had called him to be a minister of the gospel until he died for that gospel. Now take a look at the passage in front of us today…

1And we had parted from them and set sail, we came by a straight course to Cos, and the next day to Rhodes, and from there to Patara. 2And having found a ship crossing to Phoenicia, we went aboard and set sail. 3When we had come in sight of Cyprus, leaving it on the left we sailed to Syria and landed at Tyre, for there the ship was to unload its cargo. 4And having sought out the disciples, we stayed there for seven days. And through the Spirit they were telling Paul not to go on to Jerusalem. 5When our days there were ended, we departed and went on our journey, and they all, with wives and children, accompanied us until we were outside the city. And kneeling down on the beach, we prayed 6and said farewell to one another. Then we went on board the ship, and they returned home. 7When we had finished the voyage from Tyre, we arrived as Ptolemais, and we greeted the brothers and stayed with them for one day. 8On the next day we departed and came to Caesarea, and we entered the house of Philip the evangelist, who was one of the seven, and stayed with him. 9He had four unmarried daughters, who prophesied. 10While we were staying for many days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. 11And coming to us, he took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands and said, ‘Thus says the Holy Spirit, ‘This is how the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.’” 12When we heard this, we and the people there urged him not to go up to Jerusalem. 13Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” 14And since he would not be persuaded, we ceased and said, “Let the will of the Lord be done.” 15After these days we got ready and went up to Jerusalem. 16And some of the disciples from Caesarea went with us, bringing us to the house of Mnason of Cyprus, an early disciple, with whom we should lodge.

In our passage today, as Paul is making his way towards Jerusalem, the disciples in Tyre warn him “through the Spirit… not to go on to Jerusalem” (v. 4) and then, while staying in Caesarea with “Philip the evangelist” and his “four unmarried daughters, who prophesied… a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea” and after binding his own hands and feet with Paul’s belt, he said, “This is how the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles” (vv. 8 – 11). On top of all this, Luke tells us that everyone around Paul “urged him not to go up to Jerusalem” (v. 12).

What do you do when you are absolutely certain that you have heard God speak – you have heard God’s direction for your life – in ways that are not contrary to his Word but are contrary to human reasoning? Do you tap out and go back to business as usual and retreat from God’s call on your life to be holy as he is holy and to make disciples of all nations (1 Pet. 1:15 – 16; Matt. 28:16 – 20)? Or, do you proceed ahead with putting your sin to death and pursuing the lost with the gospel even it means you may die? All the human reasoning in the world cannot account for God’s purposes. Indeed, God’s thoughts and plans are far above our own human ability to reason (Isai. 55:8 – 9).

So, how do you respond to the wise criticism and the humanly reasoned warnings of other believers around you when you know that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has called you to something that appears to be foolish, risky, dangerous, difficult, or costly?

Paul’s response is simply this in verse 13: “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” Paul is simply stating that he totally understands the threat of death that is in store for him, he totally gets the risk factor, he knows that the road ahead is full of danger and threats, he has counted the cost of following Jesus with an instrument of death over his shoulder, but he is not afraid to die for the One who died for him.

By all accounts, it would not seem wise for the apostle Paul to pursue a death wish in Jerusalem at this point in church history; it would appear by all accounts of human reasoning that the death of the apostle Paul would injure the mostly young, divided, and oftentimes very immature church in that time period.3

Yet, Paul remained convinced, and the people finally stopped trying to persuade him to take a different course and they surrendered their well-intended criticism as they said, “Let the will of the Lord be done” (v. 14). It appears that Paul’s deathwish was part of God’s will even though it did not jive with the human reasoning of his friends.

Commenting on all of the pushback that Paul received from his friends, one author says that first of all, “Paul’s acquaintances demonstrated the all-too-common inclination of being quick to know God’s will for someone else” and secondly, Paul’s friends “were trying to make God’s will conform to their preconceptions” and thirdly, “in attempting to turn Paul away from Jerusalem, his friends demonstrated that their spiritual focus was more horizontal [human in nature] rather than vertical [Godly in nature]”.4

This same author notes that the apostle Paul overcame the opposition because “He approached life the same way Christ did [they both had a deathwish], he refused to be deterred from God’s revealed will [he was convinced about what God wanted], he was not a man-pleaser [Paul did not fear man’s opinions], and he trusted in God’s sovereignty [even if he was wrong, God was still in control]”.5

Once again, Paul possessed a deathwish; he was willing to die for the One who had died for him, and nothing could deter him from God’s will for his life. Can the same be said of you and me? Could it be said that we are determined to die for the One who died for us? We must remember that this same apostle said things like this:

  1. Romans 8:6 – 7 “To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God”. Why would any of us be willing to die for Jesus if we are not willing to die to our flesh?
  2. Romans 8:13 “If you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live”. How many of us in this church family are still living according to the flesh; unwilling to put our sin to death?
  3. Colossians 3:5 – 10 “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator”. Can you locate yourself in this list of sins? Can you find the sins in this list that you need to take to the gun range and unload a full mag into?

I am concerned that we may know how to nod our heads in agreement to these questions and even know the right answers to spiritual questions but do not actually follow through in puting our sins to death. How could we ever have a death wish like the apostle Paul’s – to be overjoyed to die for the One who died for our sins – if we are not first putting those sins to death?

Please allow me the latitude to make this really personal for a few minutes. I am concerned that the members of our church are not known for putting our sin to death. I think we are becoming known as the church that does the following things instead:

  1. We have a personal holiness issue in our church family. It has been observed by some visitors and members of The Well (and affirmed by our current leadership team) that many within our membership openly practice or communicate things such as: Spouse bashing/name calling, being hungover or drunk or needing a drink on Sunday mornings, showing up habitually late to serve on Sunday mornings or to Bible studies, distracted or playing on cell phones during Bible studies and Sunday gatherings, bad mouthing or complaining about our own children and other people’s children, not having homework completed for Bible studies, being completely absent from Sunday gatherings and or Bible studies without any communication to others in the group or to leadership while passive aggressively complaining that no one cares for you, not willing to be corrected because the person giving the correction does not have the same life experiences/situation as you do, people talking openly about the sin struggles of their spouse in a way that causes others to view that spouse in a negative way, a resistance to (or at least a difficulty with) listening to or learning from people who are younger or less mature, a fear or a sense of moral superiority among those who have walked with Jesus longer than others, and confessions of having a seriously deteriorated relationship with Jesus, no vision or strategy for strengthening that relationship, while standing in sharp judgment and criticism of everyone else’s sin. God calls us to be holy as he is holy by pursuing Christlikeness relentlessly as we resolutely wage war on our sin. My question is: When will we wake up from our sleepy naps in church and start waging war against our sin? When will we get a deathwish just like the apostle Paul?
  2. We have a stewardship issue in our church family. We are known for our disobedient stewardship. We splurge on non-essential items – expensive coffee, fast food, cigarettes, vape oil, household upgrades, gambling expenses, etc. – we spend money in those areas while asking for financial help with items such as clothing for children and utility bills. I took a $1,500 per month pay cut in January 2023 and have not taken a raise in over four years while some of our members still do not give a dime to support the church budget.

All of this is true of us, despite many years of clear biblical teaching and one on one conversations on the topics of faithful stewardship and personal holiness. This is an absolute abuse of God’s grace and mercy in the cross of Christ where not just the leftover pocket change was given but all of Christ’s blood was poured out on our behalf. Jesus died so that we may truly live and yet we seem to be resisting the repentance that requires a deathwish towards sin.

CONCLUSION…

In conclusion, do we really think we have a deathwish like the apostle Paul did? Are we willing to die for the One who died for our sins? Or do we just love the fact that we get to attend a church where it’s not a big deal if we smoke, drink, cuss, or have tattoos?

Could it be that we are more infatuated with being part of a church that accepts us where we are at and makes no big deal about secondary issues than we are with a crucified, risen and returning Savior? What do you think it will take for us to truly begin to repent from the list of sins above and begin to wage war on those very sins in preparation to become a people who possess a deathwish for Jesus?

I really want to give you three steps of repentance, but I feel as though I would be wasting my breath. Maybe you will make it a point to be in a men’s or women’s group this week and maybe you will take the initiative to begin talking about how you are going to start waging war against your sin so that you may live with a deathwish for Jesus. It would be such a blessing and it would be so honoring to the Lord if we as a church initiated a church wide season of repentance together.

I want so badly to encourage you with a reminder that just as Paul set his face towards certain death as he headed towards Jerusalem, so too, Jesus also set his face like flint towards his certain death in Jerusalem in Luke 9. For the joy that was set before him, he endured the cross on your behalf. If you agree with these statements, then your agreement must flesh itself out in a lifestyle that is actively putting sin to death because you have a deathwish to die for the One who died for your sins.

1 Unless otherwise specified, all Bible references in this paper are to the English Standard Version Bible, The New Classic Reference Edition (ESV) (Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, 2001).

2 Derek W. H. Thomas, Acts, (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2011), 598 – 599.

3 Ibid., 591 – 592.

4 Kent, Hughes, Acts: The Church Afire, (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 1996), 286.

5 Ibid., 286 – 287.