GOSPEL :: FAMILY :: MISSION
I want to continue growing in maturity as a leader. I want to live and lead from a place of true joy rather than chasing the fleeting illusion of momentary happiness. I want to operate from an authentic place of living in the presence of my Heavenly Father. I want to love the Lord with my entire being. I want to love the present version of the people I lead more than the future vision I have for them.
My mode of operating affects the direction I lead others in. When I’m stuck in survival mode I lead others into bunkers where we exist only to defend ourselves from everything that’s being thrown at us. When I’m stuck in a “charge the hill at all costs” mode I lead others into a dream state where we exist only in the future possibility of what could be on the other side of this mountain.
I learned at a young age to judge the emotional temperature of a person by the look on their face. If my mom’s face looked sad I braced myself for an emotional outburst. If my mom’s boyfriend looked angry I looked for an escape route. If my mom was smiling as she sang along with Stevie Ray Vaughn then I knew it was safe.
There isn’t much that’s guaranteed in this life. We’re not guaranteed health, wealth or prosperity this side of Heaven. In the blink of an eye our health can fail. In a split second, someone we dearly love can become deathly ill. There’s no guarantee that the paycheck we’re working for today will be there tomorrow. We’re not guaranteed to succeed in marriage, vocation or education.
My thoughts were provoked this morning. After a discussion with a friend over breakfast, my thoughts were captivated by this question: “What barriers exist between me and my Heavenly Father that are actually bridges of invitation to relationship with him?”
Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think: “I feel worthless”? I struggle with my own sense of worthlessness too. It’s easy for me to feel valuable when I’ve done something right or when someone treats me nice. But when I fail at something or when someone treats me unfairly it’s easy for me to fall into self-pity or despair thinking that I must be worthless. In other words, I struggle with letting my behavior or someone else’ behavior dictate what I believe about my sense of worth.
There are some days when I feel completely overwhelmed. Like the world is caving in on me. Like all the paths forward are filled with rough terrain. Like all of my hope is gone. Like all of my dreams have been crushed. Like there’s a heavy burden on my back that I cannot escape.
Did God choose you before you chose him? Or did God choose you because you chose him? One of the core truths of the Bible is that God chose us before we were able to choose him. As you think about this, what makes this doctrine so hard for you to believe? Is it simply that somewhere deep down inside you’ve always believed that God chose you because you chose him? Have you always believed that God knew you would come to your senses one day? Did God just know that you would be a good little boy or a good little girl and choose him someday so therefore he chose you? Wouldn’t this mean that you and I somehow control God’s decision to choose us because of our good behavior? What kind of comfort does that give us?
I hate to admit that I struggle with fear. I’d rather be seen as fearless. Confident. In control. Courageous. Assured. Steady. Notice that I said “I’d rather be seen”.
Take a minute here and answer this question: “Who am I” and complete this sentence “I am …………” on a piece of paper. How we answer this question and complete this sentence in our worst moments and in our best moments says a lot about our maturity in our walk with Jesus.
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