The apostle Paul has previously instructed the Ephesian believers to no longer walk as the Gentiles do but to instead put on the new clothing of the Christian life. In essence he has said that if we are followers of Jesus then the clothing of our old lives, while they may feel comfortable and familiar to walk in, has no place in our lives and we should strive to put on Christ himself.
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:25 – 32…
Our lives are clothed in words, thoughts and actions. If you want to know the quality of a person’s character, just study their words, their thoughts and their actions for a while. I’ve always found this to be a helpful and wise practice when pursuing new relationships whether it be a romantic relationship, a business relationship or a friendship. Someone has said that God gave us two ears and two eyes and one mouth. Therefore we should listen and watch twice as much as we speak.
In the context of new relationships this pattern of listening to and watching the other person’s words, thoughts and actions, helps to protect you from harmful and destructive relationships. And it slows down the mad rush over the cliff into destructive relationships that often characterizes our entitled and intoxicated and infatuated with immediate gratification culture of relationships that we live in.
Now, it’s much easier to grasp some of what I’m saying in regards to other people. We can easily see the wisdom in what I am saying here and I think it’s not too hard to practice when it comes to evaluating other people’s words, thoughts and actions.
But, what I do think is much harder is when we turn the gun on ourselves. It’s much easier to evaluate and assess other people around us but it’s much harder and often much more painful to evaluate our own character. It’s much harder to listen to and to observe our own words and our own thoughts and our own actions because when we do this we must admit, painfully at times, that we fall terribly short of our own expectations not to mention God’s expectations.
God says “be holy as I am holy” and “keep a close watch on yourself” and “guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” and “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” and “walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling to which you have been called”. God’s Word is full of explicit and implicit instructions regarding this truth that our lives are clothed in words, thoughts and actions and we must evaluate them, guard them, protect them and pursue holiness in them. And that’s Paul’s focus in our text today.
The Text…
The apostle Paul has previously instructed the Ephesian believers to no longer walk as the Gentiles do but to instead put on the new clothing of the Christian life. In essence he has said that if we are followers of Jesus then the clothing of our old lives, while they may feel comfortable and familiar to walk in, has no place in our lives and we should strive to put on Christ himself.
There should be a visible difference between the walk of a professing believer and the walk of a professing unbeliever. There should be a visible difference in the words, thoughts and actions that clothe the life of a believer.
And as Paul drills down into what it looks like for the Christian to put on the clothing of Christlikeness he lays aside some of the grand, cloud-level language that we are accustomed to hearing from him and he lays out six very explicit, very clear, ground-level instructions for us.
- Speak the truth because you belong to each other… (25)
Paul says, Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Paul begins his instruction here by focusing on our words and the effect they have on the people around us. He will circle back around to this again in verse 29 but here he begins with the foundation of how our words should be characterized. They should be characterized by truth instead of deception. Honesty instead of lying. Integrity instead of cheating. Faithfulness instead of unfaithfulness.
Our words should be full of integrity and they should flow out of hearts that are trustworthy and not double-minded. And the reason Paul is concerned with this is because our words have a serious effect upon the people around us. We are far to individualistic in our culture and we often fail to understand the ramifications of our words upon the communities that we belong to.
Think for a minute about the negative and untrue things you say about yourself in your head and how destructive those words can be to your soul. And now apply that same truth to the communities you belong to. Your coworkers. Your friend groups. Your spouse. Your children. Your gospel community. Your church family. Your social media community. Your words have the power to speak life into the communities you belong to and they also have the power to speak in destructive and deadly ways. So speak the truth because you belong to each other.
- Do not nurse your anger because it gives Satan an opportunity for destruction… (26 – 27)
Paul says Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Paul doesn’t say that anger is a sin or that we should not be angry. He’s more concerned that we should not become sinfully consumed with anger. Anger is an emotion that we often feel when we are disappointed. We become disappointed when someone or something does not meet our expectations.
When I take my car in for a repair and I pay a few hundred dollars for that repair and then I get it back and it breaks down again a few days later I become disappointed and then I become angry. The mechanic didn’t meet my expectations. I expected to receive a good running car for my few hundred dollars but I didn’t get what I expected or wanted.
This happens to all of us on occasion and sometimes it happens daily. Marriage, parenting, friends, coworkers, employers, projects, etc. All of these examples and more are the breeding ground for failed expectations that will disappoint us and cause anger to well up from deep within us. We all live in the tension of failed expectations that breed anger. And we all have to resist the temptation to stuff that disappointment and anger deep down inside while we hide behind our mask of “everything’s fine”. We also have to resist the temptation to just blow our tops under the banner of “do not let the sun set on your anger”.
Anger is like a boiling pot of water. If it’s handled correctly it can produce much good like boiled corn on the cob. But if it’s handled incorrectly it can do much harm like third degree burns. I feel disappointed often and I experience anger often when I am confronted with evil atrocity in our world. Broken families, abusive relationships, racism, the affects of addiction, homelessness, poverty, genocide, terrorism, sexual slavery and many other atrocities that result in the marginalization of hurting and helpless people really disappoint and anger me.
These atrocities cause deep anger in me that can be used for doing much good or could be used to do more harm and destruction. And Paul’s concern here is that we would not nurse our anger and our disappointments to the point of sinfulness because when we nurse our disappointments and our anger we invite Satan to take advantage of the opportunity to sow destruction into our own hearts as well as the hearts and the lives of those we are called to love. So do not nurse your anger because it gives Satan an opportunity for destruction.
- Do honest work so you can share with others… (28)
Paul says Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. When we think about the work we do we often think about it in terms of our own wants and needs. We think about food on our tables, homes to live in, cars to drive, entertainment to be had and new possessions to buy. Our budgets are not typically built on a foundation of generosity.
And to be clear, Paul is getting at the truth that Christians should not be known for being thieves. And most of us here probably feel like we’ve got this one down. We are already putting check marks on our lists of things done well and things done not-so-well. And this probably seems to be a slam-dunk. Most of us here probably weren’t out robbing the local gas station last night or holding up people for cash in a dark alley.
But stop for a minute and think about who Paul is speaking to. He’s speaking to professing Christians in Ephesus. These are people who should not be known as lazy thieves and I don’t think Paul is the kind of apostle who gives instructions about things that aren’t really an issue. So there is an issue here for the Christians in Ephesus. How could stealing be an issue among Christians?
I think what Paul is doing here is he’s laying a foundation for the work we do, the kind of work we do and the motivation for the work we do. We are to work for our living in as much as our life circumstances allow us to. We are to work hard and honestly. We should not pad our time sheets or do personal things on company time or inflate the quality of our work while deflating the quality of someone else’s work to make ourselves look better.
And the motivation for all of what Paul says here is so that we can share what we have with others. Generosity should be the motivating factor behind every budget that we work to fulfill otherwise we are dishonest thieves who seek more wealth for our own advancement. So do honest work instead of stealing so that you can share with others in need.
- Use grace-filled language instead of tearing people down… (29)
Paul says Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Again Paul returns to the power and the effect of our words on other people in the community spaces we occupy. His concern once again, is that our words have the power of life and death to the heart and soul of our community. Our words can either corrupt and contaminate the community like a small drop of poison in drinking water, or our words can build up and strengthen or sweeten the community like a small drop of honey in a cup of tea.
There are occasions for harsh and direct words. When someone is in danger and they are blind or deaf to the warnings of what’s coming around the corner then the fitting thing to do is to raise your voice and speak bluntly. This would fit the occasion and it would be motivated by a desire to detour that person from harm and destruction. In other words it would be a very gracious thing to speak harshly or bluntly to a person who is about to walk into certain destruction.
But in our society it is popular to go spouting off at the mouth with our every opinion or thought and retaliate in our pain by using words as weapons to defend ourselves or to get back at others who hurt us. This is especially tempting when we are hiding behind our keyboards on social media or hiding behind our trusted group of friends who share our same viewpoints as we criticize people we disagree with. Again, our words must be motivated by and actually have the opportunity to build up anyone who would hear them. So use grace-filled language that builds people up instead of tearing them down.
- Do not grieve the Holy Spirit with your words, thoughts and actions… (30 – 31)
Paul says And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Throughout verses 25 – 29 Paul has meticulously moved from words that are filled with truth and honesty to thoughts that are filled with anger and destructiveness to actions that are filled with honesty and generosity and then back to words that are filled with grace and build others up. Our lives are clothed with words, thoughts and actions that affect other people around us.
And it’s not just that our clothing affects our community they also affect the Spirit of God who dwells within us. It’s thought provoking to think of the truth that even though we try to escape the pain and the hardship of this life though careless and self-centered words, thoughts and actions that in the midst of our escaping the pain and hardship there is the Spirit of God living within each of us who does not escape our words our thoughts and our actions. And not only does he not escape them, our words our thoughts and our actions cause him to grieve.
When we speak dishonestly or nurse our anger or refuse to be generous or choose to be lazy and selfish or use destructive language we cause the Spirit of God to grieve. Don’t miss this. One scholar rightly says that the One who comforts us in our pain feels deep pain and grief when we clothe ourselves with words, thoughts and actions that are contrary to his desires. Our failure to live up to the expectations of the heart of God causes the heart of God to grieve like we would grieve at the funeral of a dearly loved friend or family member. Kind of brings a whole new understanding and experience to the concept of disappointment doesn’t it?
And the core of what Paul is saying here in verses 30 – 31 is our words, thoughts and actions that are motivated by malicious intent. In other words, when we use our words, our thoughts and our actions in a way that seeks to tear someone down rather than build them up we are being malicious. It could be a reaction to someone causing us pain or it could be premeditated after letting something simmer in our hearts over night or it could be intentionally tearing someone else down to promote ourselves. Either way, malicious intent is the kind of intent that seeks to harm someone else and it causes the Holy Spirit to grieve. So do not grieve the Holy Spirit with malicious words, thoughts and actions.
- Kindly and tenderly forgive as you’ve been forgiven… (32)
Paul says be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. The remedy for taking off the dirty clothing of our old lives is the laundry detergent of forgiveness. As many scholars have rightly pointed out, the word “forgive” means to set free or to redeem or to wipe clean. Another scholar says that the essence of love is forgiveness. Without forgiveness there is no love.
When someone wrongs us or fails to meet our expectations we are called to love that person and to extend kindness towards that person and to set them free from the harm that we might rightly bring against them and wipe the slate clean of any memory of their wrong doing against us. This does not mean that we build a community or a society that is devoid of appropriate consequences for wrongdoing but it does mean that we release people from the harm they’ve done against us by seeking their ultimate good.
This does not mean that people who are experiencing horrific abuse must lower their heads and endure the abuse for the sake of the abuser. We should never use the principle of forgiveness to enable abusive or destructive individuals to continue abusing and hurting helpless people. We must seek the welfare of people who’ve been marginalized and are helpless and we must also seek appropriate consequences for people who perpetuate the abuse while not seeking their destruction.
Lastly we must also remember that unforgiveness does the unforgiver more harm than it does the original offender. When I do not forgive someone for the way they treated me or the way they failed to meet my expectations then I constantly replay the harm they did against me and I harbor or nurse the wound and it festers and ultimately boils over in rage, anger, bitterness, resentment and slander. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that infects one individual and spreads throughout an entire community.
And it must not be this way among a community that professes to have the corner on the market in regards to forgiveness through the cross of Christ. This is the tension of forgiving as we’ve been forgiven while working to ensure the safety and health of our community. So kindly and tenderly forgive as you’ve been forgiven.
There’s A Problem In The Midst Of All This…
I don’t know if you are ware of the problem yet. Maybe you’ve felt the tension of an underlying problem throughout this sermon. Let me summarize where we’ve been. Our lives are clothed in words, thoughts and actions. And God’s instructions are clear on what that looks like. We are called to be clothed in Christlikeness. We are called to be a mirror image of Jesus in our community.
Our lives are to be clothed in words, thoughts and actions that are loving and joyful and peaceful and patient and kind and good and faithful and gentle and self-controlled. So what’s the problem? The problem is that every one of us hasn’t just accidentally fallen short of these commands. We’ve intentionally rebelled against them. If we were to be a mirror image of God then the mirror is broken. We are broken and the image of God in us is imperfect.
Our clothing is tainted and dirty and honestly we are without hope to ever get this completely right. So what do we do? Do we walk out of here today and consume this sermon like it was good moralistic pep talk to help us become better versions of ourselves? Do we let the reality of our imperfections make us hang our heads in despair? Where do we go from here? What do we do now?
The Broad Context Of The Bible…
What Paul says here in Ephesians is connected to at least hundreds if not thousands of years of history in God’s dealing with his people. So you and I could honestly go just about anywhere in the Bible and make a contextual connection with what Paul is teaching.
So, I want you to think about Samson for a minute. You know, Samson. Samson is the one who had the supernatural God-given strength to face down enemies of all sorts and sizes and bring them to utter destruction. He tore a lion and a bear to shreds with his bare hands. He called out the enemies of Israel and when he was attacked he killed thousands of them with a jawbone of an ass.
He was used in powerful ways by God in the book of Judges during a time when all of Israel did what right in their own eyes rather than doing what pleases the Lord. He was a hero that everyone could look to for leadership during a time of spiritual darkness and terrible suffering as a consequence for the nation’s sin.
But Samson had a problem that was similar to the problem we have. Though he was chosen by God, gifted by God and empowered by God he had a weak character. His life was clothed in filthy words, filthy thoughts and filthy actions. He was a drunk. He frequented the prostitution houses. He was a pathological liar. He was intoxicated by women. And he even called one of the women he dated a heifer. How’s that for clothing yourself with filthy words, filthy thoughts and filthy actions?
We oftentimes teach the story of Samson as a moralistic story to children in a “do this, don’t do that” kind of a mentality that leads to a legalistic, performance based religion where God is happy with us because we do more right things than we do wrong things. Of course the problem with that kind of interpretation is that it leads people to become fake, happy on the outside, dead on the inside kinds of legalists who are blind to the presence of God.
And that’s exactly what happens to Samson. He gets his eyes burned out and he is thrown in prison as a consequence. And now in his physical blindness, in prison, as an entertainer of crowds, he is completely broken. And in his brokenness he surrenders his life completely to the Lord. There’s something about the pain of brokenness that makes full surrender possible for us. And the beauty of the story is that the Lord forgives Samson and then uses him to remove his enemies.
Now it might be tempting for us to think that God takes broken people and does great things through them. And that’s true but it’s not the big idea of the story of Samson. The big idea of the story of Samson is that you and I are rebellious and blind and deceptive and intoxicated just like Samson and we need to surrender to God’s forgiveness. And like Israel we need someone like Samson in all his strength without his weaknesses to rescue us and that person is Jesus.
That’s What I want To Leave You With In Conclusion Today…
Jesus is our Samson. He is the one who comes to us with words that build us up though we deserve to be torn down for our rebellion. Jesus is the one who unleashes his love upon us as he dies on the cross in our place. Jesus is the one who stands in the way of the wrath and the punishment we deserve. Jesus is the one who gives us new sight when we once walked in blindness. Jesus is the one who gives us the strength to put on new clothing. Jesus is our new clothing.
And through the Spirit of God we are sealed for the day of redemption when we will be released from the pain and the suffering and the sin of this life. Jesus secures a future for us that is beyond our wildest imaginations. Jesus is the vision of the good life that enables us to be clothed in the words of righteousness and to be renewed in our thinking through the truth of the gospel and to be transformed in our behavior through the power of the Spirit. Our lives are clothed in words, thoughts and actions. The question is, are your words, your thoughts and your actions clothed in Christ?