Last week we talked about grace. This week we are going to talk about forgiveness. True change in our lives is a radical act of God’s grace. The process for experiencing that change then, requires that we humble ourselves and learn to receive his grace. But we will never be able to fully receive and experience grace until we are able to extend grace to others.

NOTE: POSTS IN THIS SERIES HAVE BEEN ADAPTED LARGELY FROM A STUDY CALLED “CHRISTIAN RECOVERY” FROM PROVIDENCE CHURCH.

Forgiveness is the foundational means that God has given us of extending grace. Forgiveness frees us from the weight and burden of holding on to offenses. It requires us to tame our prideful hearts by laying aside our resentment, hurt, and negative thoughts towards others, being mindful that God alone is judge. Forgiveness also frees us to be conduits of God’s mercy. Because God forgave us, we are called to forgive others, even when they do not deserve it. Forgiveness empowers change in our lives because it ultimately frees us to take hold of God’s grace, and grace is the key to true change.

DISCOVERING THE PRINCIPLE IN SCRIPTURE

Let’s look at a passage that will help us understand more about the role and importance of forgiveness in our lives. The passage we are going to read is pretty straightforward. It is another one of Jesus’ parables. As we read this, look for what we learn about the importance of forgiveness. Read Matthew 18:21-35

1- The point of these verses is pretty clear: we are to forgive. Let’s talk about what forgiveness is exactly … If you had to explain what it means to forgive someone, what would you say?

2- How is forgiveness different than forgetting?

3- Our forgiveness of others is intended to mirror the forgiveness God has given us. Let’s think about how God has forgiven us in Christ … what does it mean to forgive someone as God has forgiven us?

4- Charles Spurgeon said, “To be forgiven is such sweetness that honey is tasteless in comparison with it. But yet there is one thing sweeter still, and that is to forgive. As it is more blessed to give than to receive, so to forgive rises a stage higher in experience than to be forgiven.” … What is the blessing of forgiving others?

APPLYING THE PRINCIPLE

The diagnostic questions below are designed to help you apply the principle of forgiveness. They will help you think through how you can work toward forgiveness in specific situations in your life. Remember to be as specific as you can about your real life.

Identify a situation in your life where you are experiencing resentment, bitterness, or anger towards someone (It is best not to pick resentment where abuse was a factor). If you are able to identify a situation that is going to require you to work through forgiving someone else, that is ideal. But if you are having a hard time doing that, try to identify a situation where you are having general negative thoughts (jealousy, dislike, etc.) towards someone that are preventing you from loving them well. The exercise here is still the same: letting go of things that are keeping you from extending grace. Once you have something, share a little about your resentment or negative thoughts with your group, without speaking poorly about anyone else.

  1. Again, without speaking poorly about anyone else, what makes it hard for you to forgive that person or let go of those negative thoughts?
  2. What heart idols are at play in your resentment or negative thoughts? How did the person(s) interfere with your desires for power, approval, comfort, or security?
  3. How have you contributed to this particular situation by being …
  • Selfish (how was I inconsiderate?)
  • Dishonest (what was I unwilling to admit?)
  • Self-glorifying (how was I trying to appear?)
  • Afraid (what was I afraid to lose?)
Talk with your group about how the gospel speaks to your resentment and empowers you to forgive and/or let go of those negative thoughts.
What action steps do you need to take as a way of extending grace to this person(s)? Any conversations you need to have, any thoughts you need to confess, bitterness or jealousy you need to further work through, forgiveness you need to seek from others, reconciliation you need to pursue, etc.? What is your plan for following through on those action steps?

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT FOR GOING DEEPER

Below is a chart to help you think through this principle as it relates to your specific struggles. We have given the example of anger. Identify and articulate three more situations where you are experiencing resentment, and discuss them with your mentor. After working through the chart, talk about any action steps you need to take related to these situations. Refer to the diagnostic questions above if you need more explanation. Reflect daily on Ephesians 4:25 – 32