My mode of operating affects the direction I lead others in. When I’m stuck in survival mode I lead others into bunkers where we exist only to defend ourselves from everything that’s being thrown at us. When I’m stuck in a “charge the hill at all costs” mode I lead others into a dream state where we exist only in the future possibility of what could be on the other side of this mountain.
I’ve survived many seasons where I felt like I was literally being pulled in a million different directions. I’ve also lead various teams of people up various mountains of success and through various valleys of pain and suffering.
I know what it is to get so lost in the future vision of myself or the future desire of someone else or the future dream of a team. I know the exhilaration of perceived success and I know the crippling pain of perceived failure.
I’ve experienced the momentary happiness of fundraising banquets and appointments gone well and I’ve also experienced the momentary fear and discomfort of having very little in our bank account.
I’ve experienced the momentary excitement of a ministry gathering that packed out the house to standing room only and I’ve also experienced the momentary bewilderment of a ministry gathering that gets cut in half because someone grabbed their friends and bailed.
I know the momentary pleasure of listening to a friend share their victory over sin and I know the heartache of listening to the confusion and pain in a friend whose stuck in the deceptive power of their sin.
I feel like I know all too well the momentary suffering of my own struggle with longing for acceptance and love and I also know all too well the momentary high I feel when it seems like someone accepts me and loves me. I also know all too well the momentary pain and confusion when someone lashes out at me from their own place of sinfulness and pain.
I keep using this word momentary because deep down inside I know that this life here on earth is not my final destination. There will be seasons of suffering and survival and there will be seasons of joy and excitement this side of eternity.
And while seasons of suffering and survival feel like an eternity they are only momentary in light of eternity. The same goes for seasons of joy and excitement for these seasons never last as long as I wish they would this side of Heaven but they do remind me of the hope I have in the future Heaven as I grind out my survival on this earth.
My mode of operating affects the direction I lead others in. Some seasons require that I survive but I cannot lose sight of the future dream. Some seasons result in an exhilarating pursuit of vision as we charge up the mountain but I cannot lose sight of the reality of the here and now.
Jesus does this so well. He survived the horror of the cross and he tasted the exhilaration of the empty tomb. He survived the pain of leadership derailed and he experienced the excitement of miraculous healing and redemption.
When I’m in a season of balancing survival and vision or when I’m in a season where I feel like I’m being torn to pieces in all directions by the inward (self), outward (peers), downward (dependents) or upward (authority) pressures of leading through influence I need to remember that my mode of operating affects the direction I lead others in.
This is why Acts 20:28 and 1 Timothy 4:16 are so important to this conversation. In these short verses the apostle Paul explains the key to a healthy mode of operational and directional leadership.
To the Ephesian leaders in Acts 20:28 Paul says, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.”
To Timothy, the leader of the leaders at Ephesus, in 1 Timothy 4:16 Paul says, “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.”
So whether it’s balancing the mode of operating or balancing the direction of leading Paul says this in summary, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and keep a close watch on yourself. Pay careful attention to all the flock and keep a close watch on the teaching. Do this because the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God which he obtained with his own blood and if you persist in this you will save yourself and your hearers.”
This is a serious business and the first serious piece of this business is paying careful attention to and keeping a close watch on my soul. I cannot give what I do not have. I cannot share what I have not been given. My mode of operating affects the direction I lead others in.