Last week we talked about forgiveness. This week we are going to talk about reconciliation. Reconciliation means to make things right with people we have sinned against. But reconciliation is both scary and hard because relational stuff is gritty.

NOTE: POSTS IN THIS SERIES HAVE BEEN ADAPTED LARGELY FROM A STUDY CALLED “CHRISTIAN RECOVERY” FROM PROVIDENCE CHURCH.

The longer we wait the harder it is to pursue relational reconciliation with someone we have sinned against. So Jesus instructs us to pursue reconciliation quickly. So quickly that we should do it before the sun goes down on the day we sin against someone or realize that we have sinned against someone. (Eph. 4:26) We sin with great urgency therefore, if we have received the grace and mercy of salvation in Christ, we must pursue reconciliation with even greater urgency.

DISCOVERING THE PRINCIPLE IN SCRIPTURE

Let’s look at a passage that will help us understand more about the role and importance of reconciliation in our lives. The passage we are going to read is Matthew 5:23 – 26. As we read this, look for what we learn about the importance of reconciliation.

 

  1. According to the text, when does Jesus say we should pursue reconciliation?

 

  1. According to the text, why is this (the “when” factor) important to recognize?

 

  1. What kinds of things in the text could distract you from seeking reconciliation?

 

  1. What kind of religious excuses do we make to not pursue reconciliation?

 

  1. What are the consequences for refusing to pursue reconciliation?

 

APPLYING THE PRINCIPLE

The diagnostic questions below are designed to help you apply the principle of reconciliation. They will help you think through how you can pursue reconciliation in specific situations in your life. Remember the ground rules: 1) Be as specific as you can about your real life. 2) Listen to each other. 3) Don’t give advice unless asked.

  1. Identify a relationship where you have sinned against someone or offended someone recently. Ask the Lord to reveal one to you if you cannot think of one.
  2. Make a list of things that you said or did that were hurtful to that person.
  3. Make a list of things that you could do to rebuild the trust with that person.
  4. Ask your GC to pray over you as prepare to pursue reconciliation.

Note: If someone has sinned against you, the process looks different and in some cases of extreme abuse may not be possible. Please consult a Pastor/Elder in your church family to help you in processing this and pursuing healing.

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT FOR GOING DEEPER

Ask for help. As with the other steps, the first thing we should do in preparing to make our amends is pray. We recommend asking God for three things in particular. First, ask God for the willingness to make the amends with speed, honesty, and forthrightness. Second, ask God to help you conduct yourself with wisdom, love, and contrition, being slow to speak, quick to admit fault, and clear-sighted and discerning. ird, ask for God for help trusting his sovereign provision. Your job is to make the amends; God’s job is to manage the results.
Act quickly. Everyone is afraid, at the outset, to make their amends. e longer we procrastinate, the worse this fear becomes. erefore, we should not delay. Once we have our list and know what we plan to say, we should dive right in, preferably at a pace of at least one amends a day.
Follow up. Once we have made the amends, we must actually make the amends. Mouthing the right words is of no value if those words are not followed by action. Of course, we should be diligent to follow-through on any promises of restitution we have made. We must be people of our word. Matthew 5:37. But we must also follow up on changing the behaviors we are purporting to turn away from.
Reflect daily on Colossians 1:15 – 23